Grandma: Playing the Grandma Card

I got to use it yesterday.  The line.  The one that makes everything ok and justifies whatever I’m doing.  I pulled the Grandma card.

“My Grandma did it, so I can do it!”

Now, granted, this is not a foolproof card.  And there are many cases where it will not and should not apply.  Like, if I were to go get a perm, that card would not help.  If I were to start wearing polyester slacks with the big crease down the front.  Or if I were to start driving 50 on the highway.

But there are some situations where the card works beautifully and I can take snippets of my Grandma’s life and enjoy them in the comfort of my own 21st century home.

You see, Grandma cooked.  Boy she could cook.  Good country-style Kansas cooking. Cherry pies.  She always knew they were my oldest cousin’s favorite, but I don’t know if I ever told her they were mine too!  Fried chicken.  Mashed potatoes.  Chicken and noodles.  Chili.  And I know that BLTs are a dime a dozen, but I swear… she made the best BLTs on the planet.  It probably had something to do with the fact that she pulled the tomatoes out of her huge garden in the backyard.  And she didn’t mind using really greasy bacon and lots of mayonnaise.  Have you ever noticed that?  People of their day were never worried about fat and calories and organic and whole foods.  Because everything was organic!  Everything was whole food!  What’s not whole about a chicken you raised yourself?  What’s not organic about an ear of sweet corn you pulled off the stalk yourself?  (don’t argue with me… I don’t know the official definition of “organic.”  My point is, it was really fresh and had no pesticides.  Moving on…)

Grandma was a woman of her day, though.  She always used a mixer and had a microwave and when it was too cold outside to hang her laundry she’d use the dryer.  And lucky her, while we were forced to change the channel in the living room from Nickelodeon to a Western when grandpa came home for lunch, she had her own private black and white TV in the kitchen.  It was only for ‘her shows’: Guiding Light, The Young and the Restless and Days of Our Lives.  We were never allowed to touch that one, and it was always on.  And Grandma watched it while she cooked.

So yesterday when my husband came home I was standing in a darkened kitchen chopping up onions for dinner.  My Kindle Fire was propped up on the counter and an old episode of Flashforward was playing.  He came in, kissed me, put his stuff down, was telling me about his day and soon noticed that I was all but ignoring him.  Then he saw what was happening.

“Are you watching Flashforward and cooking at the same time?”

“Yup.”

“You can’t do that.”

To which I curtly responded, “My Grandma got to watch TV while she cooked, so I can too!”

End of story.

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