Real people. With purses. And kids.
You don’t understand how big of a deal this is… we NEVER have people over. Maybe because my husband works at a bank and at the end of the day the last thing he wants to do is talk to people? Or because we live a little far from said people. Further than the park, anyways. Or maybe it’s because our townhome is the size of a postage stamp and when the Pickle really gets to flingin’ her toys, there’s hardly room for the three of us. Let alone PEOPLE!
As much as I believe in letting people experience my real life… you know, like those cute signs that are so popular nowadays, “Pardon the mess. We live here.” Um… truth is, I don’t have one of those in my house. I’m old school like that. Blame Grandma. I really, really want my house to be clean for these people.
Their kids will be playing on my floor. I want it vacuumed.
They will be eating food off of my dishes. I want them clean… the table too. And the kitchen.
They might be using my bathroom (EEK!). I should have started that last night.
And, while I’m terrified at the thought, they may also be going… *gulp*
Did I mention that’s what I’m going to miss the most about this apartment? That it has an upstairs? So my life can look clean and orderly on the ground floor, but the upstairs can be left a disaster for as long as I need it to.
Yeah.. not today. PEOPLE are coming.
THIS IS HOW SILLY I AM (OR PERHAPS HOW HUMAN I AM):
– I’m sad that I can’t get the big stain off our carpet that has made it’s home right next to P’s highchair. (I blame her) I may try to cover it up with something.
– Items WILL be stuffed in a closet or a drawer. It cannot be avoided. Things will magically disappear.
– I spent ten minutes last night scrubbing food off my wall. That’s right. I found cereal on the wall… by her toys. Cereal, like, ‘soggy-breakfast-cereal-with-milk’ cereal. It should not be on the wall. Furthermore, it should not be on the wall by the toys. On the opposite side of the room from where cereal SHOULD be. Ugh. Scrub, I did!
– If I have time, I really may run to a one hour photo store so I can update my wall pictures.
– I may or may not have rearranged the spices on the counter so that a passerby could only see the ones labeled Trader Joe’s and Spice Islands… not the Dollar General or the store brand tins.
– I confess: I put the remaining cheeseballs in smaller Tupperware containers so they could be hidden… and I threw away the giant tub that normally lives on top of our refrigerator. Tacky!
– We will be baking something in the morning and I’ll call it a fun activity… but really, it will be for PEOPLE.
Are you laughing at me, crying with me, agreeing with me, or swearing to never EVER come to my house?
Ugh… Grandma (and my MOM!!!) was so much better at this than I was. While I’m sure she never cared what people thought of her spices, I don’t think her house was ever dirty. Then again… maybe she did this for me, too, and I just didn’t know it? Maybe we were PEOPLE? Maybe it was her joy to offer a peaceful, clean, picked-up place for people to visit. Or maybe she was just really that good… and didn’t have a toddler.
Regardless, when my PEOPLE come, it really may look like I have it all together. It might seem like I scrub my floor every week. They may assume that I buy organic and eat healthy and only buy expensive spices. They might really think that my bed is made everyday and the dirty clothes are always where they should be. In fact, I may start believing it, too!
But I promise it’s not true. I do this for PEOPLE…