Dear Men,

Don’t believe everything you read on your shampoo bottle.

Your Welcome,

Respectable Women Everywhere.

Imagine my shock when I got bored in the shower one day and was reading the back of my husband’s shampoo bottle.  Now, you’d think since I’d seen the commercials that is wouldn’t be a surprise, but alas… it was.  And this… this is what I read:

Shampoo3

Now I’m all for clever marketing.  I love watching commercials on TV.  Sometimes I will even turn the volume up or shush the people around me, just so I can hear.  I am disgusted and annoyed by the dumb ones, but the clever, creative ones?  Oh, now… that’s another story.  At LEAST once a week I look at my husband with a dumb grin on my face and say, “That was good… eh!  That was good.  Man, I’d love to be in marketing.”

I love me some clever marketing.

This trash, however?  This is not clever.  This is juvenile.  This is degrading to the men in our society.  This makes my husband feel more like a Barbie doll than a hunter/gatherer.  Than the Man of my house.  Than the provider and protector of my family.

This takes all of his brains and hard work and desires and boils them down to one big, dumb stereotype.  And it makes me want to get a sharpie.

Shampoo2Because any respectable woman, I hope, is not basing her choice of man on his choice of shower product.  Because I don’t care how good you smell, if you are an egotistical prick, you’re not getting my attention.  On the flipside if you are a shy, self-conscious man, your shampoo is not going to get a girl closer to you.  Finding out who you are and being confident in that… might.  But it will at least get you the right kind of attention, hopefully from the right kind of girl… not the pathetic meat-house that this bottle is suggesting.

I read the bottle, but I don’t believe for a second that this is really all men want.   I don’t believe for a second that men read the back of it and think, “oh yeah… gonna get me some tonight with my chocolate astronaut smelf!”  No, guys.  There is much more to you than that.  You are the leaders of our country.  The heads of our families.  The fathers of our children.  You are inventors and athletes, scientists and economists.  You are CEOs who run companies and mechanics who know cars inside and out.  You are authors and debaters.  Philanthropists and medal winners.  And if you’re not yet, then you will be someday.  Don’t let a lame shampoo product dictate who you really are (or who women think you are).  Because it’s just not true.  Your shampoo will not guarantee you unlimited female attention.  I’m sorry.

Shampoo1And women… don’t be this girl.  Don’t even buy your men this crap.  (She’s not even proportionate.)  Instead, YOU need to let them know every minute of every day that you love them for more than their body or their smell or their hair.  They need you to show them who they really are and what they are really capable of.  They don’t need lame marketing tactics to dumb them down, they need real women to build them up.  And if you’re not going to do it, then this disproportionate shadow of a woman will.

You gonna let that girl get in your man’s head?

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